Amazing Grace

Dear Friends,
    I stayed with Glen at his apartment in Rockwood, TN. Glen brought me to a powerful waterfall that he calls his temple. Ah, the magnificence of this place. Its energy is quite conducive to meditation and devotion. Water thunders down a hundred foot drop and lands in a beautiful pool surrounded by layered rock walls. Human bodies are tiny at the foot of these grand rock walls.
    Glen's apartment complex is inhabited by people age 55 and older. One afternoon, the complex felt a bit lonely and sad and silent. So I took my harmonium and sat down on a blanket in the middle of the complex, lit a candle for Swamiji, and started to play. Slowly but surely, people started to emerge from their rooms. A couple of them rolled up in their wheelchairs, staring in wonder as the sound of "Amazing Grace" filled the air. Others peeked from behind the concrete pillars; others sat on a bench nearby and smiled. Some stood in a dark corner, listening from a distance. As the song ended, a man in a wheelchair rolled up to me and gave me a $5 bill. "God Bless You," he said. I played a few more songs. Another man who is very spiritually oriented asked me about my trip and after I had responded, he said, "God man, it's like we're twins!" For a while, some of the onlookers seemed uplifted. And the energy of the complex felt lighter. As the last song faded away, I bowed down to Him, then picked up the harmonium and went back to the apartment. I had felt awkward the whole time and did not particularly want to play in public. But it seems some other force is in charge now. May all those at the Rockwood apartments be healed by the light of God. May they be surrounded by the beauty of Grace. Om.

Love,
Brian

Oh Mary Don't You Weep

Dear Friends,
     Driving many miles northeast, I arrived in a little village nested in the hills of West Virginia called Hillsboro. I saw the beautiful community coming together to share their homes, gardens and music. In the morning I went with Lynmarie to milk the goats. After I had squeezed out a few drops, the goat finished her food and kicked over the bucket, spilling out the milked I had worked so hard to obtain. Why cry over spilt milk? Taking a deep breath, I let go of the frustration and handed the teats over to Lynn Marie. She was most adept with milking and so loving with the goats. Rather than trying to get out as much milk as possible, I learned how to love a goat instead - through Lynmarie's example of love. Goats have unique personalities, and they can give milk for years if they are taken care of. I enjoyed goat cheese later.
     One night, I listened to Josh and Lynmarie sing "Oh Mary Don't You Weep." God protected her from the Pharoah. Christ had a destiny to fulfill. Mary, you are safe. Nothing can go wrong. I imagine feeling safe all the time, and the clutching in my abdomen lets go. Oh Dear God, thank you for Thy protection. Whatever happens is Thy will, not mine. Everything happens out of Thy Love, the Love for Thy children. Oh Mary don't you weep, have faith in this Love. In faith, all fear dissolves.
     I pray that all beings may feel safe, that all beings may rest deeply knowing that God protects. Each breath is given by Him. Thank you, Oh Lord, for Thy breath. The Breath of Life.

With love,
Brian

Out of nothing flows something

Dear Friends,
     We had a beautiful satsang at Yoganize Yoga Studio near Greenville, SC. It was coordinated by a beautiful being named Jen. I arrived at the studio with no plan. In fact, depression was coming up strongly over the last two days. When I sat down, the mind became quite still and a flow of words poured out of this emptiness. Witnessing the flow was something quite astonishing. Language and imagery appeared that I had not heard before. Meditation techniques I had never conceived of. Who was in charge now? It certainly wasn't I. It was guiding the satsang. Somehow I had stepped out of the way, and a more charismatic leader-type being had stepped in. The energy wasn't mine, the expression wasn't mine, the words, the voice. It couldn't be identified.
    I'm forgetting who I was. I can't describe the former personality. I can't remember much of what has happened over the past 3 months. It is a sort of disorientation. When one moves around so much, there is no place to land or settle. Nothing to hold onto. It feels like falling into emptiness and letting go of the objects of this world. I don't have a home or a name.
    The sense of identity is just a thought. Thoughts come and go. Why cling to a thought of identity? Consciousness is so much more vast than the thought of "me." I suffer because there is an identification with pain. My pain. If there is no central identity, how can there be suffering? There is no one to suffer! On the other hand, as I identity with the body, this identity continues to be born in a body over and over again. A body is a speck in the cosmos. Why pretend to be a limited speck in such a vast creation? There is so much more possibility!
    Imagine that the universe is just one unified field of consciousness. Only the mind makes up differences and creates time, space, and distance. Perhaps the passing thoughts of the mind are not as important as we make them up to be. May you realize who you really are without the mind. And then there is only You. Pure awareness. Truth. Love. Peace. And Beyond.

With love,
Brian