Dear Friends,
I have found that the greatest spiritual practice is facing fears. Fear is my biggest block to greater realization. Fear of confrontation, fear of not having enough money, fear of awkwardness, fear of the cold, fear of the heat, fear of judgment. Fear leads to anxiety, nervousness, defensivness, and in general, a closing down of the heart. Naturally, I have contemplated on fears in order to see through their illusion. Yet when I am face to face with the situation, the fear comes once again. Here is a good example.
To follow up with the possibility of setting up a satsang, I called a yoga studio and spoke with the owner, someone I did not know. I felt an uncontrollable fear that she would reject me or reprimand me, and my speech became awkward and muted. But I did not die. So I called the next studio with less fear. The more I put myself in this situation, the more confidence grows. This world gives so many opportunities to face my deepest fears. And when I meet them, I begin to stand up straighter and freely express myself, not suppressed by the fear. When I shake death's hand, a part of my ego dies, and Spirit is uncovered.
I also notice that I suppress the feeling of fear for fear of showing any sign of fear to someone else. The belief is that it is a sign of weakness. For instance, trembling or shaking or shying away. Yet fully allowing the fear is a sign of vulnerability. A sign of authenticity. It is the dissolution of the "tough guy" persona. I don't try to hide fear from myself anymore. Who would I be without the "tough guy" costume? Someone willing to embrace the fearful boy inside...to accept him as he is. To let him be himself. When he gets to experience his fear, he is true to himself. He is so thankful to be given this chance. He is accepted. He is loved. This is the power of authenticity.
With love,
Brian
Saturday, January 19, 2013
Friday, January 11, 2013
Bow Down?
Dear Friends,
I have visited so many spiritual teachers and been exposed to so many gurus. Each one's expression is different. Each one has a different energy. I cannot say which one is the best. But it is very clear to me when a particular teacher resonates. And my mind may be open to one teaching more than another at different times. The more the mind is open, the more I fall in love with the teacher, the more my resistance falls away, the more powerfully the teachings flow through me. Indeed, the feelings of love and openness become the teacher and the teaching, and that is what I surrender to. The teacher represents the inner power within my own self. The guide comes in physical form to open the guide living within my self. Surrender to the master means surrendering to my higher self. Until my full potential is realized, it is a very valuable practice to attune to the Teacher. What I meditate on, I become. So why not meditate on the Teacher that has realized its divine potential?
In 2008, I went to a retreat with Svami Purna in New York. The moment He walked into that bookstore, I was overwhelmed with emotion, and I knew that this Being would be my teacher for this lifetime and all future lifetimes. It was my desire to attune to this Being every second of the day for as long as the body breathed. When I say Being, I mean Presence, not the physical body. The body is a wonderful reminder of the Presence but not the actual Presence. So when I bow down to the physical body, I am actually bowing to the Presence which is beyond form, which is my own True Self. This may be difficult to understand because the True Self is beyond conception of mind. Bowing to the Teacher is a sign of love and reverence to the One True Self. This is why we say "namaste" when we greet one another. I bow to the Divine in you. That which is pure love, peace, and joy. Let us worship these qualities and as we do, we become their very essence.
With Love,
Brian
I have visited so many spiritual teachers and been exposed to so many gurus. Each one's expression is different. Each one has a different energy. I cannot say which one is the best. But it is very clear to me when a particular teacher resonates. And my mind may be open to one teaching more than another at different times. The more the mind is open, the more I fall in love with the teacher, the more my resistance falls away, the more powerfully the teachings flow through me. Indeed, the feelings of love and openness become the teacher and the teaching, and that is what I surrender to. The teacher represents the inner power within my own self. The guide comes in physical form to open the guide living within my self. Surrender to the master means surrendering to my higher self. Until my full potential is realized, it is a very valuable practice to attune to the Teacher. What I meditate on, I become. So why not meditate on the Teacher that has realized its divine potential?
In 2008, I went to a retreat with Svami Purna in New York. The moment He walked into that bookstore, I was overwhelmed with emotion, and I knew that this Being would be my teacher for this lifetime and all future lifetimes. It was my desire to attune to this Being every second of the day for as long as the body breathed. When I say Being, I mean Presence, not the physical body. The body is a wonderful reminder of the Presence but not the actual Presence. So when I bow down to the physical body, I am actually bowing to the Presence which is beyond form, which is my own True Self. This may be difficult to understand because the True Self is beyond conception of mind. Bowing to the Teacher is a sign of love and reverence to the One True Self. This is why we say "namaste" when we greet one another. I bow to the Divine in you. That which is pure love, peace, and joy. Let us worship these qualities and as we do, we become their very essence.
With Love,
Brian
Monday, January 7, 2013
Wander for Truth Online Events
Dear Friends,
You can watch satsangs online through http://www.ustream.tv/channel/wander-for-truth. We hold live events here which are announced at http://www.facebook.com/SatsangWithBrianLottman. You can "like" this page which will inform you of any future postings on this page. On www.wanderfortruth.com, there is a Mailing List tab to sign up for e-mails regarding future events too.
It is quite powerful to set an intention to connect to the energy of the satsang as it begins. Let go of all resistance and opinions and just surrender to the power of the gathering. Be open and in a mode of receiving. The words can be nice, but they are a doorway into the realm beyond. Feel the subtle energy and sink into this feeling. This energy will meditate you and heal your being. The deeper you go into meditation, the more you may be healed. Enjoy your Self!
With love,
Brian
You can watch satsangs online through http://www.ustream.tv/channel/wander-for-truth. We hold live events here which are announced at http://www.facebook.com/SatsangWithBrianLottman. You can "like" this page which will inform you of any future postings on this page. On www.wanderfortruth.com, there is a Mailing List tab to sign up for e-mails regarding future events too.
It is quite powerful to set an intention to connect to the energy of the satsang as it begins. Let go of all resistance and opinions and just surrender to the power of the gathering. Be open and in a mode of receiving. The words can be nice, but they are a doorway into the realm beyond. Feel the subtle energy and sink into this feeling. This energy will meditate you and heal your being. The deeper you go into meditation, the more you may be healed. Enjoy your Self!
With love,
Brian
Thursday, January 3, 2013
Sadhana
Dear Friends,
What is sadhana? Practices that lead one to the realization of the True Nature of Spirit. One can focus either on the attractions of the material world or on the attractions of Spirit. I spent most of my life trying to chase after pleasures and run away from pain. The more I focused on physical pleasures, the more I started to believe, "I am the body and mind." The more I let go of the desires for physical pleasures, the more I started to feel less bound by body and mind. Without physical addictions, the mind does not race after so many thoughts and it can just relax into being. Of course, this is a long process. The mind has millions of desires. The last thing it wants to do is stop thinking. Yet when we stop thinking, the spiritual world opens up like a flower. So many beautiful qualities of love, peace, and joy spring forth from our spiritual garden. I found it a great challenge to let go of desires until I started to feel a spark of these qualities. Then it was easy to choose the beauty of the spiritual world over addictions to the earthly world.
But at first, I needed to build faith. Some beings tap into a marvelous spirtual world so it is possible. Also I sought the connection to others who were in communion with Spirit. With their energetic support, I could more quickly start to resonate with spiritual qualities. Swami Purna has been the primary catalyst for this growth. Now sadhana has become a more natural way of life. Not so arduous. In fact, I welcome difficult times. They are doorways to further letting go of the mind's attachments of the way life should go. Challenges become the medicine I need for deepening realization of Spirit. For instance, I usually have nothing to say at a satsang so fear of the unknown arises. What if people don't like the satsang? As I let go into the unknown, the layers of fear dissolve, and words flow forth quite effortlessly. Where did they come from? Who is speaking them? This is a mystery. Everything becomes possible in this river of Grace. Let go of the sides of the river and go with the current. We are all taken care of.
Love,
Brian
What is sadhana? Practices that lead one to the realization of the True Nature of Spirit. One can focus either on the attractions of the material world or on the attractions of Spirit. I spent most of my life trying to chase after pleasures and run away from pain. The more I focused on physical pleasures, the more I started to believe, "I am the body and mind." The more I let go of the desires for physical pleasures, the more I started to feel less bound by body and mind. Without physical addictions, the mind does not race after so many thoughts and it can just relax into being. Of course, this is a long process. The mind has millions of desires. The last thing it wants to do is stop thinking. Yet when we stop thinking, the spiritual world opens up like a flower. So many beautiful qualities of love, peace, and joy spring forth from our spiritual garden. I found it a great challenge to let go of desires until I started to feel a spark of these qualities. Then it was easy to choose the beauty of the spiritual world over addictions to the earthly world.
But at first, I needed to build faith. Some beings tap into a marvelous spirtual world so it is possible. Also I sought the connection to others who were in communion with Spirit. With their energetic support, I could more quickly start to resonate with spiritual qualities. Swami Purna has been the primary catalyst for this growth. Now sadhana has become a more natural way of life. Not so arduous. In fact, I welcome difficult times. They are doorways to further letting go of the mind's attachments of the way life should go. Challenges become the medicine I need for deepening realization of Spirit. For instance, I usually have nothing to say at a satsang so fear of the unknown arises. What if people don't like the satsang? As I let go into the unknown, the layers of fear dissolve, and words flow forth quite effortlessly. Where did they come from? Who is speaking them? This is a mystery. Everything becomes possible in this river of Grace. Let go of the sides of the river and go with the current. We are all taken care of.
Love,
Brian
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