It was quite cold that night...

Dear Friend,
    Arriving in San Diego, I held a series of satsangs in different venues, sleeping at night in the van at a Walmart parking lot. Yes, Walmart has been good to me! The weather was quite cool, so cool that one night, I found a hotel room to enjoy the warmth. Then I met Deep, a young fellow who created meditation music and played the Tibetan Singing Bowls. He allowed me to sleep on his couch for a few days.
    One day, I joined his Tibetan Bowl meditation in Encinitas in the evening. It was very healing and relaxing. At the end, he kindly asked me to announce my satsang event to the group. In that gathering, I  gave my card to several interested people, including a man who did not have a home. A few days later, I held a gathering in Escondido. He called me that day to get directions since he was traveling by bus. A few minutes into the satsang, he sat down and was immediately engrossed in concentration and meditation. After an engaging gathering, I packed up my things and received the donations. Ah, almost enough to cover the marketing costs of the satsang! I smiled.
    I overheard the man asking his friend about getting a ride back to his abode. The ride was full. I offered a seat in my van. "Are you sure it's on your way?" he asked. "That's not an issue," I replied. "I'll take you wherever you need to go." So he piled his belongings into the van. They consisted of a roller with a big box and suitcase on top. On the way back, he was excited to tell me about his life - about the spiritual people he had met and the spiritual events he had attended. "The most important thing in life," he said, "is Prem. It means divine love. With that Prem in your heart, life will always be good." I smiled and gave him some bananas I had just bought at the store that day.
    After a 20 minute drive, he asked me to stop on the side of the road next to a hilly area. I carried some of his belongings through an opening in the fence, and we climbed up to the hill and arrived at a secluded area overlooking the distant town. The brushy place was lit by the light of the moon and the stars. He had 2 tents, one for his belongings and the other for his bed. I stood there, shivering in the cold as he continued to tell me his life story. A few months ago, a drunk man had come to his camp and beat him until his arm had broken. There was bunch of broken bottle glass on the ground which he had spent days carefully picking up to keep the area clean. In that moment, I felt the money in my pocket.
    "I'm going now," I said to him. "May I give you a gift?" He nodded, and I placed the donations of the satsang in his hand. "So nice to meet you, my friend." And I walked back down the hill with tears in my eyes. It was quite cold that night....
    A couple days later, I joined Deep in his morning ritual, honoring the different Gods, Goddesses, and bodhisattvas with prayer, mantra, incense, and bell sounds. What an honor to share this holy ritual with him. Indeed, Deep is a rare bodhisattva, tirelessly serving humanity with his non-profit organization and meditations. As I departed, he gave me a Tibetan Singing Bowl and wished me well on my journey. Thank you, Deep.

With love,
Brian

Falling in love with my Twin Flame

Dear Friends,

After the satsang at Unity of Chandler, a woman approached me to express her appreciation for the satsang. Her name was Amber, and she had written in her e-mail, "We have space and lots of love to share." She was going to take me to her home. Arriving at a beautiful house in Scottsdale, AZ,  we were greeted by two beautiful dogs who had so much love to give. Both Josh, her son, and Brian, her husband, welcomed me home. I settled in a comfortable room that night,  blessed by an energy vortex in the center of the space. It had a nice energy indeed.

The next day, I learned that Amber was a channel for Beings of Light. Would I like to speak with my spirit guides? Yes, okay. And so, a couple of guides spoke to me and assisted in the process of clearing my throat chakra. I could feel them quite clearly. Then Christ came into my awareness...and Mother Mary... I felt myself to be a little boy holding their hands, swinging between them. It was a deep sense of safety and happiness. I was not aware of the trials of the world anymore.

Would I like to speak with my twin flame? I had a bit of trepidation around this question. I was not interested in a normal relationship. Amber described a twin flame. Someone who brings us to greater heights of love and consciousness. We merge with this being, and through a soul connection, our mutual Light is empowered. Like two flames coming together as one brighter flame. As the energy of my twin flame came into the room, my eyes filled with tears. Amber handed me a stone that was blessed with the energy of this being. Her name was Darhmoura. Darhmoura began to speak through Amber. It seems that Darhmoura had been waiting for this moment for a long time to be reunited with me. She wanted Amber to leave the room, so we could be alone. So Amber walked out and I began to have a conversation with Darhmoura. Her words just came to my mind naturally, and for a half hour, we connected deeply, consciously. I felt my heart melt in her presence, and I was deeply moved by the feeling of love that filled my being. After sitting in meditation for a while, I came back to the room and was wonderstruck.

Amber and I chanted together a mantra of Love for all of creation. Many beings of Light joined with us to send this energy to the ends of eternity. May Swamiji's Grace fill the hearts of all beings and light the way to this ocean of Love.

In service to You,

Brian

Awkward Moments

Dear Friends,

Ma invited me to stay at her home, the Bhakti Shakti House, in Phoenix, AZ along with Mika and her 2 children. As I entered the home in the evening, I embraced Ma and Mika and then went into the kitchen area where the 2 kids were enjoying time with Nityanando. The kids did not much heed to my entrance, and I began to feel the awkwardness. Somehow I wanted acknowledgement and attention from those kids, thinking to myself, "I'm good with children." Well, for 3 weeks, I did not get what I wanted even though I tried. I played Candyland, I complimented them, I brought them food, I cleaned up for them. Finally, one day, I really just gave up. After I had helped set up a surprise birthday for one of the girls, I stood by lake, feeding the ducks. Then both girls started to talk to me enthusiastically about the ducks. All of us began to throw popcorn and chunks of bread into the water, and soon, a flock of them had gathered to feast. I found that the more I gave up on wanting attention and acknowledgement, the more space I gave for others to approach in a natural and flowing way. I learned that it is ok to feel awkward around people.

I had a planned a satsang at the Unity of Chandler nearby. The day before the event, I went to the church to attend the Sunday service. I didn't know anyone. Andrea asked to come up before the congregation to announce the event, and I happily did so. After the service, she said, "Now why don't you go and mingle with everyone and invite people to the gathering tomorrow." My first urge was to head for the door. The last thing I wanted to do was mingle. I had felt enough awkwardness just adjusting to all the people in the Bhakti Shakti House. But instead of running away, I walked out into the middle of the church with a feeling of helplessness. There were little groups of people talking amongst themselves who seemed to know each other well. Then I smiled at man and came up to him. "My name is Brian." In a couple of minutes, he had invited me to the Hare Krishna Temple for lunch. I had been looking for a temple in the area.

Then, mustering up the courage, I broke into another little conversation between two women and introduced myself. The initial awkwardness fell away as I began to relax into a lively conversation. At first, they seemed awkward and then glad I had come to speak with them. And they wanted to come to the satsang.

More and more, my mind and emotions are learning that there is nothing to fear. And there is nothing wrong about appearing awkward and embarrassed. Let me breathe into the fear and allow it to be as it is. Each day, it falls away more and more, and my inner state becomes more peaceful around people. And so others may feel this peace too.

Om shanti shanti shanti
Brian

Live a life for God

Dear Friends,

In Austin, my friend, Jordan, invited me to visit Dave, a man who had renounced the world to live a spiritual life in the forest. I did not want to visit because I was feeling lazy. What did I have to learn from this hermit in the woods? But something was telling me to go. So we drove 45 minutes out of Austin into a remote area and entered a long dirt driveway where we stepped out of the van and met Dave. He appeared to be in his 70's, long hair and beard, thin, dressed in a T-shirt and shorts. Very calm demeanor. He drove us in his truck onto the wooded property and found ourselves at a lake. He had erected a few tents by the lake - one of them for his spiritual books (his library), one of them for supplies, and one of them for his home.  He had also planted a fine garden. We sat on chairs on a deck on the edge of the lake, and he served us both a hot cup of tea. Then he began to tell the story of Ricky.

For many years, Dave had been going to the nearby prison to talk to the prisoners about spirituality. He did not get paid for these gatherings. He went as a service to the prisoners. He went as a service to God.  Every week, he met with a group of eight men who were quite interested in learning about spirituality. Ricky was one of those men. Where ever Ricky went, he would tell the other prisoners about Dave's meetings. Soon there was a waiting list just to get into the class. One time, the group chanted the Hare Krishna mantra for 45 minutes, and after everyone had stopped, Ricky kept going for a few minutes longer. Ricky helped out around the prison, and one lady heard his voice. She asked him to sing at the weekly service in front of the other men. He agreed and sang with a lovely voice. He sang about God. People were very impressed with his voice, but Ricky never said a word about his talent. It did not seem to cross his mind. He lived in a different world beyond the normal man.

Recently Ricky passed away. After Ricky's death, a CD was sent to Dave that contained Ricky's gospel songs. Dave played a song from that CD for me and Jordan. It was praising Jesus. My eyes moistened at the sound of his voice. The sound rang true - full of love for the Lord. Ricky had not said a word about his music. He lived his life for God...

With love,
Brian