You are brave

Dear Friends,

I visited my family in Los Angeles area and had a dinner with them to celebrate my father's birthday. I sat next to my sister's boyfriend, Roger, at the table, and he began to engage conversation with me. After a time, he said, "How do you feel in conversation outside of your spiritual circles?" I said, "I hadn't thought about it too much. I am quite animated with people who talk about spirituality. Why do you ask?" He said, "Well, now you seem disconnected and awkward." I said, "Yes, I suppose I often feel that way."

The next day, I explored the feeling. My mind had invented the idea of spiritual talk versus worldly talk. I was afraid of engaging in worldly talk for many reasons.  I didn't want to be dragged down into mundane matters. I felt like my state would fall if I engaged in such talk. I looked down on people who did not focus on God all the time. So to protect myself, I withdrew into the Shiva state - a sort of meditative detached state of being. Mixed in this state were feelings of insecurity and indifference. I did not know what to talk about with people and I didn't care much for worldly conversations.

One of my intentions is to develop love toward everyone and everything. The withdrawal state is not in alignment with this intention. In fact, this withdrawal can be full of arrogance and coldness. During a walk, I prayed to Swamiji, "Please assist me in letting go of this pattern. Please show me the way of friendliness." I started to notice that my mind had separated the world into darkness and light. It was running away from darkness and clinging to the light. Perhaps the Light is behind all of manifestation, and the mind cannot see It.

Imagine I want to live in a "dark" part of town and serve the inhabitants. How can I serve if my mind looks down on them or is afraid of being negatively influenced? How can I love everyone when I am withdrawing from the world or always protecting myself? I choose love. As my heart started to open, I began to thank Swamiji profusely. A voice in my mind said, "Thank yourself." And I said, "Thank you, Brian. You are facing the darkness in yourself. You are brave." And I said it again, "Brian, you are brave." Tears welled in my eyes. "You are brave."

At home, I greeted my father warmly. "How was your work today?" He was excited to talk. I was excited to engage. The barriers were falling. A new life had dawned.

With love,
Brian

A Servant of Truth

Dear Friends,

I arrived at Stanlee's home in Oxnard, CA to hold a satsang. She had already stood out as an unusual person. I had asked her if she knew anyone who would be interested in hosting satsang, and she sent me a list of 30 people to connect with. She had created her own Facebook event to invite people to the satsang. She had also invited me to stay in the front house for an extended period of time. Inside, there was a platter of fruit and other prasad for the guests.

Once Stanlee had bought the CD, Songs for Swamiji, which I had recorded 2 months ago, she was playing it in her cottage every day all day. The Energy was growing in her space. Every time I walked inside, my mind went into a meditative state. And we were doing meditations most evenings, listening to Swamiji. One day, she said to me, "I want to go with you." Well, this statement illustrates what Stanlee stands for in this world: a servant of Truth. I replied, "I travel alone." She also connected with Brian and Isha satsang and added many more spiritual practices to her daily life. She has a sign right by her bed that says, "I am not the body. I am not the mind. I am infinite consciousness." At night, she would often bring dinner for both of us - food made with love. Every week, we were holding satsangs at her home.

One day, I held a twelve hour chant of the Hare Krishna mantra to spread Love to humanity. People went in and out of the home, listening to the music and connecting to the Energy. Most people stayed for an hour and left. One group arrived, stayed for a few minutes, and then walked out. Stanlee kept chanting and greeting people as they arrived, ready to serve tea to the visitors. For a little while, I wondered if my body would need to drink or go to the bathroom. But miraculously, there was no need for these things. Many people joined online for the chant and left comments of support. Thank you for all your prayers. Thank you, Krishna, the Divine Lord. Thank you to Swamiji, the Supreme Being.

With love,
Brian