A Baby likes the Holy Name!

Dear Friends,
   I am staying with Christopher and Kimberly in Opelika, Alabama for 2 weeks. Their child's name is Asha. Asha is 7 months old. Many nights, Asha's crying wakes my body up, and I can feel the grumpiness. "I'm tired, it's loud," says the mind. But she drifts off to sleep quite quickly after someone soothes her. One night at around 2am, she cried for a long time in spite of all the soothing. Perhaps she was sick, perhaps her teeth were hurting. Then Kimberly got desperate. She said, "Will you play the harmonium and chant mantra for her?" I agreed. So she placed Asha on the floor in front of the harmonium and I started to play. Soon she was not crying anymore and her mouth agape, listening to the singing. She appeared to be  stunned. Every time I quieted down, she started to complain again. So I chanted and chanted with Kim for 40 minutes or so. "Hare Krishna, Hare Krishna, Krishna Krishna, Hare Hare, Hare Rama, Hare Rama, Rama Rama, Hare Hare" - the great Mahamantra. And as I chanted, the holy mantra took over the mind and my mood became happier and happier until soon, I was absorbed in the energy. It seemed to be a rather transcendental state. And then Asha was asleep, and she went back to bed, content with the sound of Krishna.
    This was the case with Chaitanya Mahaprabhu, an incarnation of Krishna who cried as a baby until everyone started chanting Hari. Then he stopped and smiled happily. His purpose was to teach people to sing the name of Hari all the time, for it would purify the sins of the heart, mind, and soul. Asha was teaching this lesson too. It is beautiful how the mind can move from a grumpy state to a deep meditation within minutes even in the middle of the night. Now I wake up to the crying and pray for Asha's healing, and the mind does not dwell in negativity.
    May the Lord Hari bless our meditations and bring happiness in our lives.

With love,
Brian

I don't want to die

Dear Friends,
   I am staying with Tim in an apartment near a graveyard in Tallahassee. Many days, I go out walking through the graveyard to say prayers for the departed souls. During these walks, I also contemplate on death. Bodies come and go on this planet by the billions. What is the point? The moment the body is born here, it is on the road to death. Most bodies spend their whole lives trying to make the body comfortable with food, sleep, sex, entertainment, fidgeting, fine clothes. And if these are taken away, the mind goes into suffering and pain. Lifetime after lifetime, body comes and goes. In a blink of an eye, this body will go. How many times will I reincarnate into another creature that suffers the ups and downs of this world? Hundreds of thousands of lifetimes so far. I have been an insect, a reptile, a deer, a monkey, a murderer, a monk... I have done it all over and over again by my own choice! The mind believes it is a body so it comes back as a body. After indulging in all the fantastic pleasures of the body and mind for millions of years, I am ready to step off the endless wheel of pleasure and pain. To let go of the consciousness, "I am a body and mind."

When the Buddha saw death and decaying bodies around his town, He decided that He was not going to follow the same road as everyone else. And of course, through the purification of His mind, body, and soul, His consciousness was freed and it returned to the Whole. This path means letting go of all addictions, desires, and identification with the mind and body. Breaking the "prison" of the mind by using the mind itself! Naturally, the path requires a complete transformation of one's life and thoughts.

What binds me to body consciousness? Comfort! So challenging the body's comfort zone is a powerful practice. Like being in a cold environment, eating different foods than normal, sitting in half-lotus position. Challenging the body's normal patterns and becoming okay with not-normal circumstances. Challenging the mind's comfort zone. So going out to talk with new people when the mind is more comfortable with old friends. To really understand the point of view of others. Not-normal mind situations. As I open up to discomfort, the mind becomes more soft, flexible, and patient and not so many things bother the mind. Then the mind is not thinking so much anymore, "How can I become more comfortable in this situation?" And it starts to quiet down and go into meditation even while the body moves about. This is the beginning of peace. When the mind can accept all circumstances without complaint. When comfort is no longer an issue! A few yogis have come to this point, but most people in this world are not willing to give up comfort. Yes, my mind and body are not so willing, but through a strong intention, the desires are following away one by one. This intention comes from an inner devotion to the Divine, the Supreme Presence, Svami Purna...

Let us spend our remaining days seeking the Eternal, the Soul beyond the body. Let us pry away the attachment of the Soul to the body and return to Beingness, the Great Beyond. Let us break through the barriers of the mind and step off the Wheel of Samsara. Let us merge into the Whole.

With love,
Brian

Power of Mantra

Dear Friends,
    Mantra is an extraordinary practice. However, at some point, mantra flows naturally, so it becomes a part of the being rather than a practice. Mantra is the most effective when it is initiated by the Satguru. Then the word becomes a "piece" of the guru, a holy word that may bring one all the way to realization of one's True Nature. There are many spiritual aspirants that have chanted the holy name until all karma is burned in the Fire. Valmiki was one sage who received the holy name, Ram, from Sage Narada. He chanted Ram constantly until he became enlightened, and then he wrote the Ramayana, one of the most influential literary works in all of history. This is the result of mantra.
    One may chant a mantra so often that it chants silently by itself inside the Heart. A mantra invokes the gods that within us. Gods represent energy such as love, peace, and joy. Here is the mahamantra:
Hare Krishna Hare Krishna
Krishna Krishna Hare Hare
Hare Rama Hare Rama
Rama Rama Hare Hare
    This one is known throughout the world. When invoked with the blessing of the Guru, it invokes Krishna, the Supreme Presence, to bring us to Him. It assists a person in dissolving into the Cosmic Presence that is beyond the mind. It is not possible to understand. As I feel the energy of the mantra, I become more devoted to it. When blocks such as boredom or frustration come up, I let them go and re-connect to the energy. Chanting the mantra with love, humility, joy, and peace is the best way to connect. It can be fun to read the amazing stories of Krishna in the Srimad Bhagavatam to increase one's devotion to Krishna, and therefore, one may connect more deeply to the mantra.
    I bow down to the Holy Word of the Guru, that which brings me across the ocean of suffering. May the Holy Name heal all beings in this world.

With love,
Brian

Facing fears

Dear Friends,
    I have found that the greatest spiritual practice is facing fears. Fear is my biggest block to greater realization. Fear of confrontation, fear of not having enough money, fear of awkwardness, fear of the cold, fear of the heat, fear of judgment. Fear leads to anxiety, nervousness, defensivness, and in general, a closing down of the heart. Naturally, I have contemplated on fears in order to see through their illusion. Yet when I am face to face with the situation, the fear comes once again. Here is a good example.

    To follow up with the possibility of setting up a satsang, I called a yoga studio and spoke with the owner, someone I did not know. I felt an uncontrollable fear that she would reject me or reprimand me, and my speech became awkward and muted. But I did not die. So I called the next studio with less fear. The more I put myself in this situation, the more confidence grows. This world gives so many opportunities to face my deepest fears. And when I meet them, I begin to stand up straighter and freely express myself, not suppressed by the fear. When I shake death's hand, a part of my ego dies, and Spirit is uncovered.

    I also notice that I suppress the feeling of fear for fear of showing any sign of fear to someone else. The belief is that it is a sign of weakness. For instance, trembling or shaking or shying away. Yet fully allowing the fear is a sign of vulnerability. A sign of authenticity. It is the dissolution of the "tough guy" persona. I don't try to hide fear from myself anymore. Who would I be without the "tough guy" costume? Someone willing to embrace the fearful boy inside...to accept him as he is. To let him be himself. When he gets to experience his fear, he is true to himself. He is so thankful to be given this chance. He is accepted. He is loved. This is the power of authenticity.

With love,
Brian

Bow Down?

Dear Friends,
    I have visited so many spiritual teachers and been exposed to so many gurus. Each one's expression is different. Each one has a different energy. I cannot say which one is the best. But it is very clear to me when a particular teacher resonates. And my mind may be open to one teaching more than another at different times. The more the mind is open, the more I fall in love with the teacher, the more my resistance falls away, the more powerfully the teachings flow through me. Indeed, the feelings of love and openness become the teacher and the teaching, and that is what I surrender to. The teacher represents the inner power within my own self. The guide comes in physical form to open the guide living within my self. Surrender to the master means surrendering to my higher self. Until my full potential is realized, it is a very valuable practice to attune to the Teacher. What I meditate on, I become. So why not meditate on the Teacher that has realized its divine potential?
    In 2008, I went to a retreat with Svami Purna in New York. The moment He walked into that bookstore, I was overwhelmed with emotion, and I knew that this Being would be my teacher for this lifetime and all future lifetimes. It was my desire to attune to this Being every second of the day for as long as the body breathed. When I say Being, I mean Presence, not the physical body. The body is a wonderful reminder of the Presence but not the actual Presence. So when I bow down to the physical body, I am actually bowing to the Presence which is beyond form, which is my own True Self. This may be difficult to understand because the True Self is beyond conception of mind. Bowing to the Teacher is a sign of love and reverence to the One True Self. This is why we say "namaste" when we greet one another. I bow to the Divine in you. That which is pure love, peace, and joy. Let us worship these qualities and as we do, we become their very essence.

With Love,
Brian

Wander for Truth Online Events

Dear Friends,
    You can watch satsangs online through http://www.ustream.tv/channel/wander-for-truth. We hold live events here which are announced at http://www.facebook.com/SatsangWithBrianLottman. You can "like" this page which will inform you of any future postings on this page. On www.wanderfortruth.com, there is a Mailing List tab to sign up for e-mails regarding future events too.

    It is quite powerful to set an intention to connect to the energy of the satsang as it begins. Let go of all resistance and opinions and just surrender to the power of the gathering. Be open and in a mode of receiving. The words can be nice, but they are a doorway into the realm beyond. Feel the subtle energy and sink into this feeling. This energy will meditate you and heal your being. The deeper you go into meditation, the more you may be healed. Enjoy your Self!

With love,
Brian

Sadhana

Dear Friends,
    What is sadhana? Practices that lead one to the realization of the True Nature of Spirit. One can focus either on the attractions of the material world or on the attractions of Spirit. I spent most of my life trying to chase after pleasures and run away from pain. The more I focused on physical pleasures, the more I started to believe, "I am the body and mind." The more I let go of the desires for physical pleasures, the more I started to feel less bound by body and mind. Without physical addictions, the mind does not race after so many thoughts and it can just relax into being. Of course, this is a long process. The mind has millions of desires. The last thing it wants to do is stop thinking. Yet when we stop thinking, the spiritual world opens up like a flower. So many beautiful qualities of love, peace, and joy spring forth from our spiritual garden. I found it a great challenge to let go of desires until I started to feel a spark of these qualities. Then it was easy to choose the beauty of the spiritual world over addictions to the earthly world.
    But at first, I needed to build faith. Some beings tap into a marvelous spirtual world so it is possible. Also I sought the connection to others who were in communion with Spirit. With their energetic support, I could more quickly start to resonate with spiritual qualities. Swami Purna has been the primary catalyst for this growth. Now sadhana has become a more natural way of life. Not so arduous. In fact, I welcome difficult times. They are doorways to further letting go of the mind's attachments of the way life should go. Challenges become the medicine I need for deepening realization of Spirit. For instance, I usually have nothing to say at a satsang so fear of the unknown arises. What if people don't like the satsang? As I let go into the unknown, the layers of fear dissolve, and words flow forth quite effortlessly. Where did they come from? Who is speaking them? This is a mystery. Everything becomes possible in this river of Grace. Let go of the sides of the river and go with the current. We are all taken care of.

Love,
Brian