Dear Friends,
I visited Amma this past weekend in Dallas. The weekend was quite intense. No one to travel with. No one to room with. Not much sleep. Magically, I ended up with 3 roommates, sleeping on a full bed. Although I was not able to get a hug token, one came to me by chance. Although I came with no one, a number of friends appeared. In the wee hours of the morning, I was working in the kitchen, cleaning off huge dishes. Those folks in the kitchen, hidden away from the main hall, are the unsung heroes, tirelessly keeping the kitchen running smoothly.
I met Mani from Tulsa, Oklahoma on the 2nd day. His wife and 3 children were there. He taught me about faith, also called "sraddha." After meeting Amma, Mani experienced a series of synchronous events that he attributed to Amma's Grace. Through his trust in Amma's Grace, he lives in such Joy and enthusiasm. I am uplifted by his positivity. Indeed, I cannot help but smile, thinking of absolutely everything as the Will of the Guru. Floating on a river of Grace, I feel very excited to see what unfolds in life. Like a good book. The book of Brian has already been written. Thank you for your example, Mani. Let's read on and see what happens.
With love,
Brian
Tuesday, June 25, 2013
Thursday, June 20, 2013
Please teach me
Dear Friends,
I spent a lot of time in a particular town, holding satsangs almost every other day, and the gatherings were growing. So much enthusiasm about the Truth! Perhaps one day, I could settle in such a place. One person in particular really spread the word through her passionate interest in the teachings. She housed me, fed me, and invited so many people to join in these satsangs. At the end of my stay, we parted in tears of gratitude, and I drove away to the next stage of the journey, promising to return to do it again. Recently I discovered that she had moved on and no longer wanted to be a part of it.
My reaction is multi-dimensional. Did I do something wrong? Perhaps I had not reached out enough after my departure. Perhaps I had abandoned her. This is so mysterious. Why did this happen? Then another fearful feeling... I was attached to finding a place to settle where people are excited about Truth. Would this ever happen? Or perhaps, all of the gardens would die away, and I would have no place to go. Would all my work be for nothing? Perhaps I had not made a lasting impact anywhere. I have given up my previous life, and now I have nothing. No material things, no enduring satsang communities, no place to live... What is left of my life?
Realization came into my mind. My purpose is not to find a place to settle and set up an ashram. It is only to share the Energy with others. Friendships are never permanent, no matter how deep the connection. Ultimately this body is going to pass on. As one door closes, another one is revealed where I may be of more service. And finally, these satsang gardens are not mine nor I am responsible for the crowds of people that come. It is only the flow of the Energy. I must let go and surrender everything to the Divine Movement. Everything happens for the highest good. And finally, I am trying the best I can. I am ready to learn from my mistakes. I don't know how to be a good friend. Please teach me, Mother Maya. Whatever you want, I am at Your service.
With love,
Brian
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MkP09YhE2-0
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MkP09YhE2-0
Wednesday, June 5, 2013
At the Lotus Feet of Swamiji
Dear Friends,
How does one develop Love and Devotion? There is one simple answer: by dedicating all of one's actions, thoughts and materials to the Lord. Swamiji is the embodiment of the Truth. By honoring Him, we honor our True Self - the One - the Infinite Being. The satsangs I hold are not mine. I don't know how the words come to my mouth nor do I know how the Energy manifests. I only know that I love Swamiji, and He takes care of the rest. So when we are in satsang, it is a powerful spiritual practice to put up a picture of Him, light a candle, burn some incense, and offer flowers. By honoring Him, we honor our Self, and our experience of satsang will be so much deeper. Our hearts open to this Holy event, and our meditations become profound. Let us honor our Soul. Let us show our Love. And as we express our gratitude, we return to the Source from whence we came.
With love,
Brian
How does one develop Love and Devotion? There is one simple answer: by dedicating all of one's actions, thoughts and materials to the Lord. Swamiji is the embodiment of the Truth. By honoring Him, we honor our True Self - the One - the Infinite Being. The satsangs I hold are not mine. I don't know how the words come to my mouth nor do I know how the Energy manifests. I only know that I love Swamiji, and He takes care of the rest. So when we are in satsang, it is a powerful spiritual practice to put up a picture of Him, light a candle, burn some incense, and offer flowers. By honoring Him, we honor our Self, and our experience of satsang will be so much deeper. Our hearts open to this Holy event, and our meditations become profound. Let us honor our Soul. Let us show our Love. And as we express our gratitude, we return to the Source from whence we came.
With love,
Brian
Tuesday, May 28, 2013
I'll fly away
Dear Friends,
There was a clunk at the glass kitchen door, and Maria exclaimed in surprise. I went outside and picked up the baby bird that had fallen to the ground stunned. I held it in the palm of my hand, holding a prayer in my heart as the tiny bird slowly turned its head. It blinked a few times and then closed its eyes. The soul flew away, and the body of the bird lay still. It was the first time I witnessed death so intimately. In moments, the candle of life departs the body. It could be today. I don't know when it will happen, but every moment slips by like the sand in an hourglass. How am I spending this precious moment of life? Yesterday is gone and tomorrow may never come yet I spend most of my days thinking about these phantoms of past and future.
I feel the most alive in the vibration of love, peace, and joy. How can I attune to this vibration now? Why do I keep putting it off and seeking temporary pleasures? I must let go of all these frivolous activities and seek the root of life itself from whence the vibration of love, peace, and joy come from. What is the source of my existence? Life shines all around and who created it all? Let me seek this source with all of my heart and all of my soul and let all other seeking fade away. Let me dive in the depths of my being and discover the life force itself. Nothing else is important.
I buried the body of the baby bird in the backyard. Thank you, my dear beloved bird. You are my friend, the messenger of my soul. You whisper in my ear, "Wake up! You, too, will fly away..."
With love,
Brian
There was a clunk at the glass kitchen door, and Maria exclaimed in surprise. I went outside and picked up the baby bird that had fallen to the ground stunned. I held it in the palm of my hand, holding a prayer in my heart as the tiny bird slowly turned its head. It blinked a few times and then closed its eyes. The soul flew away, and the body of the bird lay still. It was the first time I witnessed death so intimately. In moments, the candle of life departs the body. It could be today. I don't know when it will happen, but every moment slips by like the sand in an hourglass. How am I spending this precious moment of life? Yesterday is gone and tomorrow may never come yet I spend most of my days thinking about these phantoms of past and future.
I feel the most alive in the vibration of love, peace, and joy. How can I attune to this vibration now? Why do I keep putting it off and seeking temporary pleasures? I must let go of all these frivolous activities and seek the root of life itself from whence the vibration of love, peace, and joy come from. What is the source of my existence? Life shines all around and who created it all? Let me seek this source with all of my heart and all of my soul and let all other seeking fade away. Let me dive in the depths of my being and discover the life force itself. Nothing else is important.
I buried the body of the baby bird in the backyard. Thank you, my dear beloved bird. You are my friend, the messenger of my soul. You whisper in my ear, "Wake up! You, too, will fly away..."
With love,
Brian
Thursday, May 23, 2013
Fasting
Dear Friends,
In the book, Siddhartha, Herman Hesse writes of a character named Siddhartha who is seeking the meaning of existence. After becoming an ascetic for many years, he goes back into the "real world" and tries to find a job. In the interview with a rich merchant, he is asked about his qualifications. Siddhartha says he can do three things, "I can think. I can wait. I can fast." (Ch.6)
These are the key qualities in a spiritual seeker. When one can remain peaceful in the face of hunger, then one does not worry about money or having enough food. Indeed, these things are the main cause of anxiety in our world. When one can wait, then patience dawns on the person. He or she no longer becomes anxious about achieving things anymore - getting the right job, raising children well, etc. All will come in time. When one's mind is in complete equanimity, then thinking becomes clear, focused and powerful, and life is very easy - undistracted by negative emotions.
Today I am fasting and in silence. The mind wants to be distracted by food and speech and is pouring out so much negativity. I watch it pass and continue to follow the intention. It is a purification process in which darkness from the subconscious mind comes to the surface to be purged. None of these feelings and thoughts are permanent. They are clouds in the sky. Just let them pass. When I first started the fasting practice years ago, the mind would dread the day of fast. Now it is more at ease. Walking through the fire, impurities are burned away and the mind is cleansed. All practices are in honor of the One. The Truth. The Whole. Purna.
Jai Swamiji!
with love,
Brian
In the book, Siddhartha, Herman Hesse writes of a character named Siddhartha who is seeking the meaning of existence. After becoming an ascetic for many years, he goes back into the "real world" and tries to find a job. In the interview with a rich merchant, he is asked about his qualifications. Siddhartha says he can do three things, "I can think. I can wait. I can fast." (Ch.6)
These are the key qualities in a spiritual seeker. When one can remain peaceful in the face of hunger, then one does not worry about money or having enough food. Indeed, these things are the main cause of anxiety in our world. When one can wait, then patience dawns on the person. He or she no longer becomes anxious about achieving things anymore - getting the right job, raising children well, etc. All will come in time. When one's mind is in complete equanimity, then thinking becomes clear, focused and powerful, and life is very easy - undistracted by negative emotions.
Today I am fasting and in silence. The mind wants to be distracted by food and speech and is pouring out so much negativity. I watch it pass and continue to follow the intention. It is a purification process in which darkness from the subconscious mind comes to the surface to be purged. None of these feelings and thoughts are permanent. They are clouds in the sky. Just let them pass. When I first started the fasting practice years ago, the mind would dread the day of fast. Now it is more at ease. Walking through the fire, impurities are burned away and the mind is cleansed. All practices are in honor of the One. The Truth. The Whole. Purna.
Jai Swamiji!
with love,
Brian
Monday, May 20, 2013
A Note that Opens my Heart
Dear Friends,
Durga Devi - also known as Donna - opened her home to satsang. She stepped into the unknown, inviting her friends to this event. Satsang is unknown for me too. I'm surprised words come out of my mouth, considering I don't have any plans. "Can you tell me the format of the satsang?" Durga Devi asked. "No, I have no idea. Let's see what happens," I replied. I suppose this reply was not very comforting, but it certainly is mysterious. Truth is a Mystery. As I let go into the Mystery, I face all of my fears, nervousness and anxiety, and they dissolve in the Energy. My mind is fairly empty as satsang begins, and then the mouth starts talking about something. Where does it come from?
During satsang, Cotton Candy (the almost blind dog) came up to me to visit and later on, the cat came to visit me. Seems that the animals really like satsang. Jeff, Durga Devi's husband, offered his help immediately in whatever he could do to support the satsang. I am so thankful for his welcoming presence.
During the second satsang, the lighted candle behind me burst into bright flames. This was rather unusual. I picked up the candle to blow it out and burned my finger. Durga Devi brought some aloe vera plant to soothe the burn. Some days later, she came to a meditation in which I fell off my chair in a faint and burned my face on the rug. The face felt like it was on fire.
In a later satsang at Tina's home, Durga Devi gave me an envelope at the beginning, and I opened it. Inside there was a note which is attached below. It included a couple of aloe vera stems. I put some on my face and started to laugh and laugh. And now as I read this note, tears fill my eyes. I am here to serve You, dear Mother Divine. My life is for You. Let me wash Your feet with my tears of gratitude.
With love,
Brian
Durga Devi - also known as Donna - opened her home to satsang. She stepped into the unknown, inviting her friends to this event. Satsang is unknown for me too. I'm surprised words come out of my mouth, considering I don't have any plans. "Can you tell me the format of the satsang?" Durga Devi asked. "No, I have no idea. Let's see what happens," I replied. I suppose this reply was not very comforting, but it certainly is mysterious. Truth is a Mystery. As I let go into the Mystery, I face all of my fears, nervousness and anxiety, and they dissolve in the Energy. My mind is fairly empty as satsang begins, and then the mouth starts talking about something. Where does it come from?
During satsang, Cotton Candy (the almost blind dog) came up to me to visit and later on, the cat came to visit me. Seems that the animals really like satsang. Jeff, Durga Devi's husband, offered his help immediately in whatever he could do to support the satsang. I am so thankful for his welcoming presence.
During the second satsang, the lighted candle behind me burst into bright flames. This was rather unusual. I picked up the candle to blow it out and burned my finger. Durga Devi brought some aloe vera plant to soothe the burn. Some days later, she came to a meditation in which I fell off my chair in a faint and burned my face on the rug. The face felt like it was on fire.
In a later satsang at Tina's home, Durga Devi gave me an envelope at the beginning, and I opened it. Inside there was a note which is attached below. It included a couple of aloe vera stems. I put some on my face and started to laugh and laugh. And now as I read this note, tears fill my eyes. I am here to serve You, dear Mother Divine. My life is for You. Let me wash Your feet with my tears of gratitude.
With love,
Brian
Sunday, May 12, 2013
Face Dive
Dear Friends,
After chanting for 20 minutes at the meditation group in White Plains, I took a deep breath and relaxed into a deep meditation. Suddenly I lost all sense of the world and thoughts passed by the mind very slowly. Their was a distant feeling of the neck cracking and the sound of gasps all around. Then opening my eyes, I looked around and wondered, "where am I? who are these people?" It appears I had fainted and I picked up my head from the floor and and sat back on the seat. "Are you ok?" they asked. I said, "I'm trying to find out who I am and where I am..." The group stared at me in concern, but I was totally at ease and relaxed. My face was on fire from the rug burns. They asked me if I might sit on the couch instead of on a precarious chair. "I'm good," I said as I grabbed hold of the sides of the chair. Overall, it was a very nice meditation. I'll think I'll go to the chiropractor tomorrow.
With love,
Brian
After chanting for 20 minutes at the meditation group in White Plains, I took a deep breath and relaxed into a deep meditation. Suddenly I lost all sense of the world and thoughts passed by the mind very slowly. Their was a distant feeling of the neck cracking and the sound of gasps all around. Then opening my eyes, I looked around and wondered, "where am I? who are these people?" It appears I had fainted and I picked up my head from the floor and and sat back on the seat. "Are you ok?" they asked. I said, "I'm trying to find out who I am and where I am..." The group stared at me in concern, but I was totally at ease and relaxed. My face was on fire from the rug burns. They asked me if I might sit on the couch instead of on a precarious chair. "I'm good," I said as I grabbed hold of the sides of the chair. Overall, it was a very nice meditation. I'll think I'll go to the chiropractor tomorrow.
With love,
Brian
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