Whispering satsang

Dear Friends,
Yesterday I woke up with a sore throat. Gradually the voice grew more hoarse until it virtually disappeared in the evening. I had planned 2 satsangs that evening. One of them, I played the harmonium during an asana class. I cancelled the other one since we had planned to sing kirtan. Who wants to listen to the sound of silence? Not many.

This morning, I had a satsang online. So like the great Yogi, Baba Hari Dass, I wrote down words on a piece of paper to communicate with people. Unlike him, I whispered the mantras in the the microphone. Not certain if anyone online heard a word of it. But it appeared that John, my roommate, enjoyed it. It is interesting to note how much I wanted to speak. What would I do as a silent yogi? Whispering satsangs are fun...but I have doubts about whether anyone would want to sit with the "silent sadhu." Maybe when I can happily be in silence all the time, others will be happy to sit with me.

With love,
Brian

Joy of Kirtan

Dear Friends,
    Yesterday I went to see David Newman in the Dallas area. He is a wandering minstrel, playing uplifting spiritual music around the world. His music is loving and sweet, and the Energy is blissful and joyous. He plays music for the love of Neem Karoli Baba, a great Saint of the 20th century. I am so thankful to join in his his kirtan. Kirtan is an opportunity to commune with one's Divine Essence through music. Everyone joins together on a beautiful ride into the Spiritual Heart, chanting the holy name of God. As David says, each chant means, "Thank you, God, I love you, God."

Here is a link to a song that represents what David brings to the world.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0p2Dx9TsKX8&feature=youtu.be

With love,
Brian

Two Miracles

Dear Friends,

A week ago, John and I visited the Krishna Temple in Dallas. Two miracles happened. John had not taken his shoes off in a public place for two years because of a serious foot condition. He finally took them off at the temple. This gesture represented a healing of both his foot and his inner state as well a sign of surrender to the Divine.

The second miracle happened to my state of mind. Almost everyone in the temple was standing, chanting different sanskrit slokas, and some people begin to dance to the rhythm of the drumming. I jumped in and then suddenly found myself bounding up and down and dancing in a circle around the drummers, singing:

Hare Krishna Hare Krishna
Krishna Krishna Hare Hare
Hare Rama Hare Rama
Rama Ram Hare Hare

As we whirled around, someone launched my body high in the air, and I became quite happy. The dancing and chanting was mesmerizing. As the chanting slowed, I walked over to John and stood for a while, and suddenly the mind plunged into a deep meditation. I nearly fell over, and in that moment, I realized that dancing can take someone to other realms of being. In the past, dancing had been associated with awkwardness and resistance. Now it became a key to unlock transcendental states of peace and love.

Today I visited the Dallas Meditation Center. Entering the main room, I immediately fell into a deeply peaceful meditation. Then we rose from our seats and began to do a walking meditation around the room. I focused on each small step, slowly walking around the perimeter of the room, being mindful of the breath. This focused action plunged my mind into a deep state of consciousness that almost caused my body to fall over. Never had I experienced such a profound state in the midst of walking. It shattered my beliefs about this method of meditation. New possibilities open now.

There are many ways to walk the Path. Let me try them and see what happens.

With love,
Brian

Mind has an agenda

Dear Friends,

I must tell you about the mind. It has an agenda. I noticed this so clearly today. I attended a yoga charity event in Arlington, Texas at the Dallas Cowboys Stadium. At least 150 people laid their mats upon the football field, and Tom led the huge group in an intense yoga class. At some point, I could not raise the arms over my head, and sweat was pouring down my face.

During the asanas, the mind kept going back to the thought that it needed to network with others...to find someone who would be interested in hosting satsang...to make it a "worthwhile" trip. So the mind was not fully concentrated on the asanas. After the asanas, I watched the Bhakti House Band concert, and suddenly the mind slipped into a deep meditation. For a while, it gave up the agenda and relaxed. I wondered, "What am I for?" Why does the mind always need to have a reason for doing things? Why can't it just rest and relax just for the sake of being?

In a deeper meditation, I found myself offering assistance after the band had completed the concert. I had totally forgotten to fulfill my fantasy - meeting lots of yoga teachers and creating connections. Instead I enjoyed breaking down the band's stage. Finally, I was really enjoying something!

It is fun to notice the agenda of the mind. Once the agenda is seen, it can be surrendered or at least relaxed. Then a more natural action comes forth, an action of service and love. Who says we need a reason to do things?

With love,
Brian

Amma the Hugging Saint

Dear Friends,
    I visited Amma this past weekend in Dallas. The weekend was quite intense. No one to travel with. No one to room with. Not much sleep. Magically, I ended up with 3 roommates, sleeping on a full bed. Although I was not able to get a hug token, one came to me by chance. Although I came with no one, a number of friends appeared. In the wee hours of the morning, I was working in the kitchen, cleaning off huge dishes. Those folks in the kitchen, hidden away from the main hall, are the unsung heroes, tirelessly keeping the kitchen running smoothly.
    I met Mani from Tulsa, Oklahoma on the 2nd day. His wife and 3 children were there. He taught me about faith, also called "sraddha." After meeting Amma, Mani experienced a series of synchronous events that he attributed to Amma's Grace. Through his trust in Amma's Grace, he lives in such Joy and enthusiasm. I am uplifted by his positivity. Indeed, I cannot help but smile, thinking of absolutely everything as the Will of the Guru. Floating on a river of Grace, I feel very excited to see what unfolds in life. Like a good book. The book of Brian has already been written. Thank you for your example, Mani. Let's read on and see what happens.

With love,
Brian

Please teach me

Dear Friends,

    I spent a lot of time in a particular town, holding satsangs almost every other day, and the gatherings were growing. So much enthusiasm about the Truth! Perhaps one day, I could settle in such a place. One person in particular really spread the word through her passionate interest in the teachings. She housed me, fed me, and invited so many people to join in these satsangs. At the end of my stay, we parted in tears of gratitude, and I drove away to the next stage of the journey, promising to return to do it again. Recently I discovered that she had moved on and no longer wanted to be a part of it.

    My reaction is multi-dimensional. Did I do something wrong? Perhaps I had not reached out enough after my departure. Perhaps I had abandoned her. This is so mysterious. Why did this happen? Then another fearful feeling... I was attached to finding a place to settle where people are excited about Truth. Would this ever happen? Or perhaps, all of the gardens would die away, and I would have no place to go. Would all my work be for nothing? Perhaps I had not made a lasting impact anywhere. I have given up my previous life, and now I have nothing. No material things, no enduring satsang communities, no place to live... What is left of my life?

    Realization came into my mind. My purpose is not to find a place to settle and set up an ashram. It is only to share the Energy with others. Friendships are never permanent, no matter how deep the connection. Ultimately this body is going to pass on. As one door closes, another one is revealed where I may be of more service. And finally, these satsang gardens are not mine nor I am responsible for the crowds of people that come. It is only the flow of the Energy. I must let go and surrender everything to the Divine Movement. Everything happens for the highest good. And finally, I am trying the best I can. I am ready to learn from my mistakes. I don't know how to be a good friend. Please teach me, Mother Maya. Whatever you want, I am at Your service.

With love,

Brian

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MkP09YhE2-0

At the Lotus Feet of Swamiji

Dear Friends,
    How does one develop Love and Devotion? There is one simple answer: by dedicating all of one's actions, thoughts and materials to the Lord. Swamiji is the embodiment of the Truth. By honoring Him, we honor our True Self - the One - the Infinite Being. The satsangs I hold are not mine. I don't know how the words come to my mouth nor do I know how the Energy manifests. I only know that I love Swamiji, and He takes care of the rest. So when we are in satsang, it is a powerful spiritual practice to put up a picture of Him, light a candle, burn some incense, and offer flowers. By honoring Him, we honor our Self, and our experience of satsang will be so much deeper. Our hearts open to this Holy event, and our meditations become profound. Let us honor our Soul. Let us show our Love. And as we express our gratitude, we return to the Source from whence we came.

With love,
Brian