Dear Friends,
Swamiji said that the darkness cannot exist without the Light. In other words, darkness is just another shade of the Light. This idea shatters every conception of the mind.
My mind seems to be addicted to competition, comparison and judgment. It wants to feel higher than others...more powerful...needed by others. This feeling is filling a void of worthlessness and insecurity. Because of this desire for being higher than others, I cannot fully enjoy the Love that is the very nature of the Light. The Light is behind all of creation and yet the mind chooses to believe that it needs to get more Love. It chooses to feel empty.
It is amazing to note that I got interested in spirituality because of Dr. David Hawkins' book, Power versus Force. He says that one can measure the consciousness of anything through a scale of 1 to 1000. This scale appealed to my competitive drive, and I was interested in reaching 1000, the height at which Jesus had reached. So my competitive aspect created a momentum that pushed me towards intense spiritual practices, striving, and renunciation. Therefore, I hold deep gratitude for this part of myself. It has been a good friend because it has tried its best to serve me.
Now this competitive part is rather painful because it is pushing forward and worrying about not getting enough Grace and not understanding why to let go. The Light exists everywhere. Therefore, we are swimming in the Grace all the time. We are always in satsang. There is no lack of Light, no need to get more or be afraid that there is not enough. Who am I competing against? What am I striving for? And how can I be worthless when the very nature of my being is Light. So by sharing with others, I am opening myself to clearer states of realization of that Light. And when the world is filled with deeper realization, everyone thrives. Besides, it would be quite lonely, standing at the top of a mountain, witnessing a lovely view, with no one to share it with.
I am making a conscientious effort to see how beautiful everyone and everything is. The One Light has a powerful ability to show up as so many characters in the Divine Play. As I see the beauty everywhere, my mind is softened, judgments fall away, and I begin to share. Love flows through my heart like a river. There is only the Light.
With love,
Brian
I hear you Brother.
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