Dear Friends,
During my first satsang in Virginia Beach, I looked out in the "audience" and saw a beautiful, heart-warming smile. Her face lit up the church. After the gathering, people came up to me, one by one, to get a blessing. She faced me and looked into my eyes and then gave me a beaded bracelet. I said, "Put your phone number on the e-mail sheet, and we can get together to talk about your spiritual path."
A week later, I called her, and we planned to meet one evening. I drove over under the stormy green sky, eager to see her. I arrived, and there was an immediate connection. The time passed like a dream. We danced and laughed and prayed together, and I was entranced by her gentle love and dazzling beauty. I spent the night and the next day, told her I would be back for the last 4 days of my stay in Virginia Beach. That weekend, I felt anxious and nervous, I lost my appetite, and I felt quite bruised down there.
Then I woke up one morning and decided to say goodbye. So I arrived on Monday evening, and she was very excited to see me. She gave me an orange shawl to wear. I felt scared to tell her. "It is too difficult for me to stay here for four days, so I'm leaving tonight. Remember that I am a renunciant. In fact, orange is the color of renunciation." Not very affected by this statement, she encouraged me to stay for dinner. Indeed, it seems that she just wanted to enjoy the time that we had together. During the evening, she embraced me and "stole" kisses. And in one timeless moment, she kissed my face gently, and I stood in meditation. It was so lovely, and yet, a part of my mind was detached, witnessing the play of Maya. This moment spoke to me. No matter how beautiful the outside world appeared, I was letting it go and diving into the inner world. That inner world was so far beyond any outer sensual experience. Indeed, I had developed some dispassion.
And so, after a soft kiss under the night sky, I drove away, trying to shake off the anxiety. And she walked back to her home, glowing with love. I remembered that I had wanted to experience falling in love with someone, and this was given to me. And yet, in the depths of meditation, the desire was dissolving. I have fallen in love with this Creator...the Creator who has carved her with His own hands. Oh, Lord, I only want You!
With love,
Brian
Friday, July 4, 2014
Tuesday, July 1, 2014
The turtle's message
Dear Friends,
I was recently walking barefoot through Deer Park in Newport News, connecting to Mother Nature. The forest was teeming with Life - the song of birds, the scurrying of squirrels - the heartbeat of God. Peacefulness filled my being. The energy of the lake cleansed my field.
Returning to the park road, I looked down and saw a baby turtle crushed by the wheels of a car, its insides strewn about. I bent down and placed my hand over the turtles body, praying for his soul. Tears streamed down my face. The turtle was so innocent. It meant no harm. Just crossing the road peacefully. And it even had a shell to protect its fragile body. How can such a peaceful being be crushed like this? So much broken innocence in the world. Perhaps the person who drove through the park had not seen the turtle. The car, so big, and the turtle, so small. I, too, had missed many of these baby turtles on the road, especially through my ignorance and lack of awareness. And so I wept for the ignorance of the world. And I cried for the the baby turtle, honoring his sweet innocence. Truly people know not what they do. This turtle had awakened my heart to the suffering of the world.
Oh, Lord, I am walking this earth to love my fellow creatures. To relieve the suffering of my dear Earthling friends. To hold all of them in my heart. I moved the turtle's body to the side of the road and covered it with pine needles. Thank you, dear turtle, for sharing your message with me.
With love,
Brian
I was recently walking barefoot through Deer Park in Newport News, connecting to Mother Nature. The forest was teeming with Life - the song of birds, the scurrying of squirrels - the heartbeat of God. Peacefulness filled my being. The energy of the lake cleansed my field.
Returning to the park road, I looked down and saw a baby turtle crushed by the wheels of a car, its insides strewn about. I bent down and placed my hand over the turtles body, praying for his soul. Tears streamed down my face. The turtle was so innocent. It meant no harm. Just crossing the road peacefully. And it even had a shell to protect its fragile body. How can such a peaceful being be crushed like this? So much broken innocence in the world. Perhaps the person who drove through the park had not seen the turtle. The car, so big, and the turtle, so small. I, too, had missed many of these baby turtles on the road, especially through my ignorance and lack of awareness. And so I wept for the ignorance of the world. And I cried for the the baby turtle, honoring his sweet innocence. Truly people know not what they do. This turtle had awakened my heart to the suffering of the world.
Oh, Lord, I am walking this earth to love my fellow creatures. To relieve the suffering of my dear Earthling friends. To hold all of them in my heart. I moved the turtle's body to the side of the road and covered it with pine needles. Thank you, dear turtle, for sharing your message with me.
With love,
Brian
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