Tuesday, November 20, 2012

The roof is falling off!

Dear Friends,
    Maria Fernanda coordinated a satsang at the Yoga Center in Key Biscayne. Driving there in my van, I was noticing how easy everything was flowing. Normally before a satsang, I am going through so much purification, it is not pleasant - depression, detachment, tiredness etc. Just a function of the cleansing beforehand. But this time, it was surprisingly nice. When I came to the island, I went back and forth on the main road, searching the red dot on my I-phone map. This was my destination. But I couldn't see the yoga studio from the road. Finally I parked in driveway that went down into a parking garage. I sat there, thinking. But no answers came.
    Suddenly I was awakened out of my reverie by the sounds of a loud horn. A beautiful Mercedes wanted to go into the garage and I was blocking the entrance. I looked ahead. The garage entrance seemed rather low for how tall Persistence was. But I felt quite pressure by the car behind me. Putting her into gear, I went forward and suddenly heard the loud scraping of the roof above. Almost in disbelief, I went forward, and the tearing sound became unbearable. I stopped and started to drive in reverse. The Mercedes had moved in so close behind that I was within a few feet. He honked so loudly that I stopped and went no further. After a short time, he decided to back up so I could move into the driveway and out of his way. As I backed up, the metal rack on the top of the van fell in pieces to the ground with clang. I backed up some more and gave enough room for the Mercedes to pass by and disappear somewhere in the garage. The I got out of the van and picked up the long metal pieces from the room and placed them inside. Back inside, I sat in the driver's seat, feeling stunned.
    Then Maria Fernanda appeared in the street and offered to guide me to the  nearest mall parking space. I followed. I parked in a fairly bustling lot went to look at the top of the van. Maria Fernanda was standing there, watching me examine the roof.  I noticed that the roof was not torn off. However, the solar panel that gives my extra battery power was dangling by a wire off the back of the roof. I nearly burst into tears. My poor Persistence. She was so battered. And I had been so happy to have a solar panel provide electricity. Now things were falling apart. Waves of grief washed over me. Disoriented, I gave Maria Fernanda a hug. "So good to see you!" I said. It took so much effort just to sound even. Then she led me to an apartment complex nearby where she managed to get permission for Persistence to park in the grass. I got into her car and we drove to the yoga studio. We exchanged some loving words and then went inside. There were 10 people waiting since I was now late. I sat down on the pillow in front and calmly unpacked my harmonium and picture of Swamiji. I lit a candle for Him and began with a meditation.
    During satsang, someone commented on how joyful I appeared. "It depends on when you catch me," I said. I told the story of the car. People seemed quite riveted. "How do you feel right now?" someone asked. "Delighted!" I said. "It feels like a funny experience." Somehow, much of the emotion had washed away quite quickly.
    Afterward, I found out that the person who had driven the Mercedes had attended the satsang.
    That night, at home at Cindy's place, in my mind, I thanked that person for all that he did. I thought I had released attachment to Persistence, but obviously not. If he had not been there, I may never had let go of so much grief in my heart. I knelt on the ground in gratitude. "Thank you, Oh Lord, for Thy powerful Grace. Thou art always with me. I surrender unto Thy will. Please help me to let go. Please bless that soul that has brought me to my knees."

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